I just spent the last half hour or so on Facebook so naturally I’m not too pleased with the world. If you’ve been here before you’ll probably understand why, and as this entire website is pretty much dedicated to all the things that annoy me, I thought it might be nice to write about the things in life that I do enjoy, and hopefully I can postpone slitting my wrists vertically for another day. No, I’m not emo, but a suicide attempt would sure liven things up and I’d get lots of sympathetic Facebook messages with things like ‘Hope ur ok : (‘ and ‘thnkng of u…’ from people I ordinarily would not give the time of day. Not to mention every time I update my status with things like ‘Today is looking a lot better…’ and ‘The scars are starting to fade!’ it would get ‘liked’ by everyone, because, come on, if they didn’t I might do something crazy like jump in front of the 444 or drink an entire six pack of Guava Vodka Cruisers, contract diabetes and slowly kill myself with alcohol and needle drugs as I drown in a puddle consisting of my own tears, sick and the blood of a slain rabbit.
I like living in Brisbane. It’s a pretty good city to live in, it’s not the prettiest or the fastest or the most affluent. It’s never hosted an Olympics and it isn’t steeped in tradition or history, but it does the trick. There’s some pretty cool people in Brisbane too. There’s an equal amount of fuckwits but that’s just expected, they don’t really affect that much of your day, you might be slightly inconvenienced by their behaviour but whatevs, just deal with it. These aren’t necessarily the kind of people I want to meet (fuckwits not cool people), I’m more into meeting security guards that show up at spots and let you keep skating as long as you don’t go fucking around stealing their shit, and bus drivers who are just hyped on being alive and will drive a little bit faster and play their music loud enough for everyone to hear. I like the one bridge in the city that’s kind of a downward slope and goes around a corner. I like being able to get from one side to the other in under an hour on public transport. I like that a river runs through it.
I like movies directed by Quentin Tarantino. They’re really good. Better than some Hollywood rom-com churned out by the movie factory, those you don’t have to think about, most Tarantino movies have depth, they’re all out of order and you got a think a little. Except Jackie Brown. I had no idea what the fuck was going on there, I have a general thesis. Reservoir Dogs is the best though. Tim Roth has a major speaking role and one of the best lines ever in any movie ever made in history ever.
I like Vans, probs the best shoes ever. And chips and tartare sauce. And doing cess slides down that bridge in the city that goes down a slope and around a corner. I like crocodiles. They are the most ruthless of all animals. If I started a company the logo would be a crocodile, except Lacoste already did that so it would probably have to be a turtle. I like turtles. I like Yves Klein Blue because they’re from Brisbane and they’re good at playing instruments. I like a lot of other things, however it seems there’s a lot more things that I don’t like.
Gramenz 1:1
