As mentioned below, I’m not a die hard hip-hop fan. That doesn’t mean I can’t hate Eminem and all that he stands for. At least the last guy to desecrate black music had the common decency to leave a legacy of deep-fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Frankly, I think the world would be a better place if Eminem had his final squat on the toilet. So why do teenagers love Eminem so much? Well he’s led a hard life, being from Detroit and all that. One time he did a duet with Rhianna so teens can bop away to his unintelligible slurs without feeling too racist. Then there’s the big one, the reason teenagers love Eminem, he raps about life! Well, more specifically, he raps about teenagers lives, i.e. over-exaggerated hardships. Eminem pops out phat beats like how he grew up in a trailer park, teenagers love this because it gives them hope that even though they don’t live in a ten bedroom mansion with it’s own post code they can still become a recording success. Most of these kids will go on to manage a Pizza Hut franchise or manufacture their own line of quirky handbags. He will also be quick to point out the fact that he rose from the streets of Detroit and does lots of mind-altering drugs, not to mention his famous quote circling in Facebook groups and status updates: ‘People hate you? Good, that means you stood for something’. In Eminem’s case this is not entirely true, people hate him because he stole black music and like most teenagers cannot say more than a few sentences without saying ‘fucking’ or ‘bitch’. Another reason teenagers love Eminem is because of his ex-wife Kim. Particularly because Eminem does not like his ex-wife Kim. This is because she divorced him (why she married him in the first place I’ll never know) and left him wallowing in a pit of whiny self-obsessed neediness, similar to heartbroken teenagers who break up with ‘the love of their lives’ one week short of their two month anniversary. Eminem’s raps about ‘life’ seem to be more favoured by young teenagers as opposed to other rap artists who often speak about how they’ve got a stable full of cars (which is an excellent idea, cheers Dre) and how they’re often knee deep in bitches, which is what life is actually about, AMIRITE? 
Racism and ignorance walk hand and hand along the banks of the River Styx, half the people who don’t know this hail from the gold coast, plaster unit stickers on the back of their Hilux and insist that people who have a triple figure IQ are ‘un-Australian’ and ‘faggots’, the other half are teenagers, and they like Eminem. Because he’s rich, white and talks about how he’s going to pistol whip Kim and make a ‘nigger’ take the blame. Also, teenagers like Eminem because they’re stupid.
Gramenz.
