This is like, news and stuff.
#1: Three metre crocodile rams boat full of women
That will happen when you step out of the kitchen. Obvious jokes aside, this would have been a pretty stressful situation for these women, which could have easily
been avoided by making me a sandwich. Or maybe they shouldn’t have gone into the crocodile’s habitat because crocs are the shit and probably the most ruthless of all animals. Actually, it says they were in a fishing comp, it’s clearer now. This clip should explain it a bit better.
#2: A vapid and vain celebrity split with his equally vapid and vain partner.
Tamara Jaber finally awoke from whatever trance she was placed under and left Kyle Sandilands. This isn’t news, it’s just an opportunity to say suck shit, Kyle.
#3: Junior Masterchef a ratings success.
Last night was the debut of channel ten’s spin off Junior Masterchef. It met my expectations, having said that, it sucked. I seriously wish I was present at the meeting which created this series because this was just such a poor concept on channel ten’s part. The original Masterchef is obviously responsible for this as it was a monstrous success, but there is a pretty big leap between the two shows. On Masterchef original, you see everyday citizens from all walks of life participate in creating of the finest foods in the world regardless of how the people look, their personality or their socio-economic background. On Masterchef junior, you see snobby designer kids cooking Duck O’laronge served with a glass of Chateau Margaux imported from France. On Masterchef original, you see contestants share their thoughts and feelings about the immense pressure and stress they’re placed under. On Masterchef junior, you see contestants saying that one of the judges looks like a monkey. On Masterchef original, you see people pushed to their limit and triumph against all odds and it’s entertaining. On Masterchef junior you see a child’s dream crushed on national television and it’s sad.
Personally, I can’t wait until Christmas when all the kids start saying, ‘Mummy, mummy, I want a Sunbeam food processor!’
And Don’t Do Drugs Either
